As I question lifes answers and look inward, scrambling through the mental 'junk drawer' that I call a mind, I occasionally stumble across bits and pieces of broken logic and outdated prescription medications. I have included here, some of the more interesting thoughts.....many are mine but a few arent, however I give credit to those other sick puppies as well.
When we die, I don't think we go directly to Heaven or Hell. First, I think we go somewhere in between. You know....that place socks go when they dissappear from the dryer. (Blind Sniper)
Sometimes I like to just sit in front of a mirror and reflect. (Blind Sniper)
Smoker's cough is not caused by smoking cigarettes. It is caused by having to stand outside in the rainy, cold 'smoking area' to smoke cigarettes. (Anonymous)
Some people are not totally useless, they can still serve as a bad example. (Mark Twain)
Send me DEAD flowers when I am gone, so I can see them. (Blind Sniper)
If you are ever in front of a firing squad, when the guy says 'do you have any last requests?', ask him if it's ok to sing your favorite song. I think this would be funny, especially when you start singing
A pessimist is seldom dissapointed. (I think thats my quote, I honestly can't remember...Blind Sniper)
We should all be thankful that God created cops. I mean, who would want to have a heartless bastard bag their groceries. (Blind Sniper 2/6/98)
Sometimes I wonder, how would they do that chalk outline thing if you push someone into a tree chipper? (Blind Sniper 2/5/98)
When I die, I don't want to be burried nor cremated. I want to be stuffed. Maybe even left partially hollow, then people could use me as big piggy bank. I think that would be funny. (Blind Sniper 2/4/98)
They have marriage ceremonies, why not have divorce ceremonies.....just think.....The father 'gives' the bride away in the marriage ceremony....but during the divorce ceremony a total stranger would come in and 'take' the bride away. (Blind Sniper 2/3/98)
Monica Lewensky would have had a good career, if she didn't blow it.
I think it would be nice to date a meteorologist....They are like the wind chill factor...35 but feel like 18
Divorce is like being 'certified' single. (Blind Sniper 2/3/98)
Managers always want a 'team player'. but they forget that successful mutaneers are team players too. (Blind Sniper 2/2/98)
It takes 23 muscles to frown but only 6 to pull the pin out of a grenade
(Blind Sniper 2/1/98)
Life is great but the hours are hell (Steve Hasenfus)
How many webmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
never use a vacuum cleaner to clean the bottom of a parakeet cage. (Anonymous......my favorite author)
boy, the Hum-V...or 'hummer' has become quite the popular
vehicle....monica lewensky even gave one to the president....at least
thats what I heard. (look for the 'made in america' label.......Blind Sniper)
the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind......I used to think the
song was 'the ants are my friends, blowing in the wind'
when I was a kid, sometimes i'd think, "santa claus cant possibly be
real, theres no way he can get to evry house in the world in one night."
but now that im an adult I understand. I mean look at the large number
of bad children, chinese and jews, theres not that many kids, so maybe
he does exist after all. I do some doubts about the easter bunny though.
(Blind Sniper)
whenever im at a redlight, and push in the cigarette lighter to light a
smoke, whenever it goes 'click' and pops out, I just want to
GO...like maybe thats the sound of the light turning green......have you
ever done that or am I just strange?
(Blind Sniper)
they say our government hates religeon, I dont think it does, remember
the federally funded church barbecue in waco?
(sorry, gotta go the secret service is pounding on the front
door....Blind Sniper)
bill clintons advice for the future generations of america:
"Dont inhale, and dont swallow...and everything will be alright."
(Cutting edge truth from.......Blind Sniper)
ok.....im confused again......meteorologists study the weather.....then
who the hell studies meteors?
Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth
spin real fast and freak everybody out.
(jack handy)
ya know, its a good thing that dogs dont use computers, cuz they would
probably try to stick their head out of windows 95.
(Microsoft..jack handy...or was it tom bodett...I cant
remember)
pinky: hey Brain, who is Norman Brain?
the #2 pencil is the most popular pencil sold.......then why is it still
#2 ?
(I didnt write that one, boo the guy that did.......Blind Sniper)
single men open the car door for their sweetie, married men dont. this
is because single men have to make sure she has a clean place to sit.
married women dont alow their husbands to keep a messy car.
(another observation from atop the clock tower.....Blind Sniper)
if you want a bigger piano, is that pianist envy?
(cant remember who to credit for that one. But I think it was Bill Rich)
how can ya tell if someone likes moosehead? antler scratches.
life is like a figure 8....a lot of twists and turns....but it still
goes nowhere.
(more jagged philosophies from the Blind Sniper)
Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet.
So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
20 shakespears in a room full of monkeys still couldnt build a
typewriter.....and 20 shakespears in a room full of typewriters still
couldnt sing like The Monkees.
speaking of which, lead singer of The Monkees, mike nesmith's mother
invented liquid paper correction fluid.
it all kinda fits together in a warped way.
"W"-------pronounced double u......shouldnt it be pronounced double vee?
(not my quote but surely worth forming a political lobby. BlindSniper)
the longest pipe in the world still has only 1 inside and 1 outside.
(god I hope somebody is writing this stuff down.......Blind Sniper)
I wonder....do those porno web pages ever get stuck together?
(one shot, two misses......Blind Sniper)
hey I have just came up with the hardest email address to say or
remember : [email protected]
(nothing misses quite so accurate as a Blind Sniper)
I really hate those Intel commercials. Maybe because those BunnyPeople
look like over-weight Power Rangers.
!sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT ?sgub naem ayaddahW"
Ivan von lewenhoek, inventor of the microscope proved that the universe
is infinitely small.......what if it is infinitely LARGE....we could be
germs in a larger host.....an experiment in a petri dish.
Ok, I'm still working on this crap, so check later.
It probably will never change but it will give ya something to do.
Some links worth mentioning
Kurt Saxon's Survivalist Page
(......&......The Artist Formerly Known As Blind Sniper)
(Still attacking 'Slick Willie'........and the President too....Blind Sniper 2/3/98)
(I forecast scattered showers of hate mail for that remark...Blind Sniper 2/3/98)
just one to post a 'THIS SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION' notice until he can get around to changing the bulb.
brain: That's my pen name pinky
pinky: oh alright then.....My pen's name is Bic.
24 hour Parrot Head Radio
South Park Episodes (Download)
Pink Floyd On Net Radio
Old Time Radio Programs On Net Radio
The Seeing Ear Theatre - New
AR-15.com (Parts, Care and Feeding)
Get The Real-Audio/Real-Video Player
Email: [email protected]